the LORD turns my darkness into light.
- 2 Samuel 22:29
For most of my life, I've drawn a distinct line between my grandpa and myself. This relationship was one I barely tolerated and this man was someone I could not forgive. His actions had resulted in my dad leaving my mom when I was only one. It hurt too much to look him in the eye and try to grasp how deeply he regretted what he did. These were the thoughts I had before my grandmother's death in February. Since then, my grandpa's condition was one of physical atrophy and his movements and words were but an echo of the man he once was. Still, I did not care. I pitied him, but this pity did not evolve into something more. I thought this would be the status quo, except God had other things planned. A couple of weeks ago, I went to San Francisco with my mom and grandpa. Certain events took place that I don't care to go into too much detail, but I came back changed in my understanding of both him and myself. In this state I was able to do what I had chosen not to do for sixteen years. I know that God allowed the events that happened in San Francisco to occur so that I might forgive my grandfather and see him in a new light. It dawned on me just how weary and sick at heart he was. The more time I spend with him, the more I am able to relate to this man. I understand his loneliness, and so I lift up my prayers to Christ, asking Him for restoration. Despite what may seem to be an overall somber post, I want to emphasize how God is both the provider and healer. The broken relationships that I have tried to fix have crumbled, have turned to dust in my hands. And yet, God again and again shows me that I am not the healer, but that He is.
- 2 Samuel 22:29
For most of my life, I've drawn a distinct line between my grandpa and myself. This relationship was one I barely tolerated and this man was someone I could not forgive. His actions had resulted in my dad leaving my mom when I was only one. It hurt too much to look him in the eye and try to grasp how deeply he regretted what he did. These were the thoughts I had before my grandmother's death in February. Since then, my grandpa's condition was one of physical atrophy and his movements and words were but an echo of the man he once was. Still, I did not care. I pitied him, but this pity did not evolve into something more. I thought this would be the status quo, except God had other things planned. A couple of weeks ago, I went to San Francisco with my mom and grandpa. Certain events took place that I don't care to go into too much detail, but I came back changed in my understanding of both him and myself. In this state I was able to do what I had chosen not to do for sixteen years. I know that God allowed the events that happened in San Francisco to occur so that I might forgive my grandfather and see him in a new light. It dawned on me just how weary and sick at heart he was. The more time I spend with him, the more I am able to relate to this man. I understand his loneliness, and so I lift up my prayers to Christ, asking Him for restoration. Despite what may seem to be an overall somber post, I want to emphasize how God is both the provider and healer. The broken relationships that I have tried to fix have crumbled, have turned to dust in my hands. And yet, God again and again shows me that I am not the healer, but that He is.
