Your Kingdom Come

If the west side of Chicago was to be transformed into neighborhoods that gleamed with material abundance and was ride of violence, chronic disease, poverty, and addictions but still did not know God and His love displayed in the life of Jesus, all would be for naught. As I near my 6 month mark of living in North Lawndale, I realize that peace does not mean the absence of problems A and B, but the presence of God and knowing His love. I realize that my role at the health center is that of a peacemaker; yes, I need the strength of Jesus to face the violence of poverty, substance abuse, chronic diseases, etc. etc. that many of my patients come to me with. Just as healing involves more than just physical wellbeing, peace is also a multifaceted reality that can only be possible through knowing God and his love. Internal peace, external peace, peace within oneself, peace within the community, peace between you and God, between you and your neighbor, is only possible through God and the peace that He extends to us. Essentially, peace is an extension of God's grace. I am broken, and am utterly rejected and lost without the cross. I pray that I would be a better steward of Shalom and that I am able to extend the peace of God in my daily interactions with others.

Patient interactions that I do not want to forget:

"Can I help you with anything else?"

She looked at me, and asked for a hug. 

As I leaned over, and wrapped my arms around her, my heart broke.

I cradled the phone against my shoulder.

"I'll be calling you next month just to follow-up and see how you're doing. Is that okay?"

Weeping on the other end of the line - my patient started to cry and told me that no one had bothered to care for her in a long time.

I sat in the room with a patient, and I found out that he lived on the same street as me.

"Hey, we're practically neighbors!"

He asked me if I was the girl who rode the red bike.

"What! Crazy! I am that girl. I bike to work everyday!"

I was flagged because one of my patients had attempted suicide and he had recently been discharged from the Emergency Room. I was to call him to help schedule him to see his doctor. 

I dialed his number.

1st attempt: No answer.

2nd attempt: No answer.

3rd attempt: No answer.

Psalm 12 Poem

The Words of the Lord are pure words,
like silver refined in a furnace on the ground,
purified seven times.

I am not a nice person,
or even a rude one.
If your perceptions of me were lined up alongside the countless
thousands and
thousands of
snap judgements and
hot, cold, maybe lukewarm humans interactions
I would quite possibly fade into ambiguity.

Burn Your words into my heart,
that what I seek and what I desire
would be clearer knowledge of who You are.
You say I am known, and that I am Yours.
You say that I am loved, and finally I begin to
understand the weight of
Your words.