God, today I thank you for the time I had with Abby this past week. Thank you for my friendship with her, and for the four days I got to spend with her. Thank you for the belly-aching laughter and for the deep conversations. Thank you for the things you were teaching me while I was with her. Thank you for the opportunity to do a short road-trip to Milwaukee. Lord, I give you thanks.
Thank you for last night and for the opportunity to go to Amanda's house. I pray that you would captivate my heart in this season and the upcoming season. That I would be fully aware of how you pursue me. Lord, I pray that you would take me deeper in intimacy and that I would see myself and others through your eyes and with your heart.
Lord, thank you for your faithfulness throughout my time as a graduate student. Somehow, you did it. You got me through the didactic portion of this program and through my immersion experience and my capstone project. Lord, you continue to open doors and opportunities. Thank you for the opportunity to work at BomboBar and for giving me an interview at Sugar Beet Co-op. Lord, give me discernment on how I should use my time. Regardless of where I expend my time and resources, I pray that I would do so out of trust and not fear.
Lord, I pray that you would grow my heart for others and I pray that you would give me a deep desire to serve others. Help me to be a better listener; help me to be others-focused. Lord, I pray that I would be a person of integrity and character - that everything I do would be done unto you and for your glory.
Friday, July 26, 2019
Sunday, July 21, 2019
Do Not Trust Me
Do not trust my fickle heart, friend
For it will let you down
as it has let me down
Do not trust my intentions
They are not pure -
there is self-gain woven throughout
Do not trust my love, dear one
It is conditional; I am unable to give you
the love you so desire
-interlude-
My friend,
trust that He who created me
and sent His son to
die for me
will fill me,
and use me
to be a vessel of His love.
Friday, July 19, 2019
Big Answers*
-Aside from writing my capstone paper (which I am furiously doing right now, powered by the cold brew coffee I am drinking here at Whole Foods), I am completely done with the implementation portion of my capstone project. I gave in-services to the adult care team and pediatric care team and after meeting with the statistician at school, found out that my results indicated clinical significance and statistical significance. In layman's terms, this means that the in-service on human trafficking made a difference on the healthcare provider's ability to identify and respond to victims of human trafficking in the healthcare setting. I met with Dr. Rowell, the director of clinical quality at Lawndale Christian Health Center, yesterday and we discussed next steps. The health center will create a quick-text that pulls up the screening questions/human trafficking flowsheet into the medical record and it looks like the in-service will be incorporated into the annual training that all the providers at the health center need to go through. Plus, there may be opportunities down the road for me to give the in-service at the monthly providers' meeting. So cool.
-I have been praying for a 'funsies' job that will keep me on my toes while I study for my board exam and apply to RN jobs. And God dropped two interviews on my lap - one happened earlier this afternoon and the other is scheduled for next Thursday. The job I went to go interview for was at BomboBar, this place that is known for their explosive, over-the-top desserts. Ok, so the actual interview was awesome. Imagine really friendly Australian guy that throws in a swear word every now and again and has a chill demeanor. Well, that's Evan for you. He mentioned that I was pretty overqualified for the position (most of my resume talks about my healthcare experience), but I responded by saying that I really wanted a side job that was outside of healthcare. We talked about our international travels and by the time I walked out of the interview, felt strongly that I had gotten the job. Sure enough, I got an email from Evan welcoming me to the crew. I'm super excited to work in a place where the staff are supported by management and where I'll be able to dabble in food industry. Plus, the perks are pretty cool as well! It sounds like Evan takes the staff out to eat every now and again and he mentioned that I get gift cards if someone mentions me on a Yelp review. Plus, I get a 50% discount on all the restaurants owned by Dineamic group.
The other job I applied to is this place called Sugar Beet Co-op in Oak Park. I would stop by the store every time I had a shift at Rush Oak Park Hospital to grab goodies for the night shift crew and this place is seriously my jam. It's a fancy food co-op that supports local farmers and is owned by members of the community. If I end up getting hired at this place, I'm going to try to work both jobs. Am I being an overly ambitious, recently graduated and more importantly very broke nursing student? Quite possibly.
*This is a list of some ways in which God has answered some prayer requests
-I have been praying for a 'funsies' job that will keep me on my toes while I study for my board exam and apply to RN jobs. And God dropped two interviews on my lap - one happened earlier this afternoon and the other is scheduled for next Thursday. The job I went to go interview for was at BomboBar, this place that is known for their explosive, over-the-top desserts. Ok, so the actual interview was awesome. Imagine really friendly Australian guy that throws in a swear word every now and again and has a chill demeanor. Well, that's Evan for you. He mentioned that I was pretty overqualified for the position (most of my resume talks about my healthcare experience), but I responded by saying that I really wanted a side job that was outside of healthcare. We talked about our international travels and by the time I walked out of the interview, felt strongly that I had gotten the job. Sure enough, I got an email from Evan welcoming me to the crew. I'm super excited to work in a place where the staff are supported by management and where I'll be able to dabble in food industry. Plus, the perks are pretty cool as well! It sounds like Evan takes the staff out to eat every now and again and he mentioned that I get gift cards if someone mentions me on a Yelp review. Plus, I get a 50% discount on all the restaurants owned by Dineamic group.
The other job I applied to is this place called Sugar Beet Co-op in Oak Park. I would stop by the store every time I had a shift at Rush Oak Park Hospital to grab goodies for the night shift crew and this place is seriously my jam. It's a fancy food co-op that supports local farmers and is owned by members of the community. If I end up getting hired at this place, I'm going to try to work both jobs. Am I being an overly ambitious, recently graduated and more importantly very broke nursing student? Quite possibly.
*This is a list of some ways in which God has answered some prayer requests
Wednesday, July 17, 2019
Prayer Requests
I don't know who (if anyone) reads this blog, but I figure I may as well as throw some prayer requests out into cyberspace (actually, I'm at school right now and we are on break and I figured it was a good use of my time instead of watching the newest season of Project Runway).
So, what are the prayer requests on my heart?
-I need God to soften my heart towards one of my roommates. It was my birthday recently, and she didn't reach out on the day of my birthday and didn't communicate with me whether or not she was going to attend a birthday event that I had planned for the following day. Overall, I feel disregarded and hurt. It's one thing if you don't live together or if you just simply forget - heck, life happens and that's totally normal. A small part of me wonders if she just intentionally didn't reach out. I guess I'm disappointed because I've tried to be intentional about different important dates in her life and I guess I just feel a bit like our friendship has taken a seat on the back burner. Maybe, I'm blowing this out of proportion and I probably just need to sit down and talk to her and communicate my feelings instead of being distant towards her. Maybe I'm being emotionally needy and infantile, but I can't help but acknowledge that these things matter to me. Pray that my heart softens and that I can be loving and gracious.
-I went to Chicago Tabernacle and recently, I've had this strong desire for a prayer buddy. Interestingly enough, a lady came and prayed for me and she prayed for just that.
-Pray for my cousin Eunice, who was diagnosed with breast cancer and just went and got a mastectomy done the other day. Pray that she experiences the deep love of God and healing. Pray for Kelly and Dennis, two peers from my cohort. Both of them just lost their fathers to different heart conditions. Pray that the Lord would meet them in their grief and loss.
-I am completely done with immersion - the next time I step foot on a unit will most likely be when I am a certified RN. I'm in the middle of wrapping up my capstone project - pray that God would use the small seeds of protocol implementation that has been set into action through my work to expand clinic-wide.
-Pray for next steps. I'm approaching this next season with a 'palms up' mentality. God, my life belongs to you - do with it as you will.
Thanks, cyber buddies (whoever you are).
Thursday, July 11, 2019
Thursday, July 4, 2019
My Friend Ali
This past weekend, I got to housesit for my friend Sarah. She vaguely mentioned that she needed someone to welcome some guests when they arrived at the house - little did I know the she and her family run an international homestay and have students from all around the world stay with them for an extended period of time. I was super pumped because this was a major throwback to my Youth Hostel Ministry days (when I backpacked Europe in college and worked at a youth hostel in Amsterdam). The weekend was great. I got to her house on Saturday evening and as I was parking my car, noticed a guy smoking in front of the house. Sarah mentioned that there were currently two guys from Saudi Arabia and Colombia, Ali and Sergio. Two additional girls would be arriving from Italy the next day and my job was to welcome them and give them a tour of the house. Anyways, I parked my car and introduced myself to Ali, the guy who was outside taking his smoke break. The conversation was easy, and we ended up walking to Target to get some food that we were going to grill the next day. I casually asked if he wanted to go to church with me, and he replied that he would go with me if he woke up in time. He also casually noted that he usually slept pretty late - around 5 or 6 am.
The next morning, I texted him from Sarah's room asking if he was awake. My phone lit up with his response - he was awake. We ended up going to church and later that afternoon I had the most transparent and open conversation with Ali. Let me rewind - Ali is a Muslim who at one point in his life looked into other religions. I think we all want our faith to reflect an individual choice and not just something that blends into the background of our culture and family tradition. At least that's what both he and I agreed upon. We were both born into our respective religions, but at one point, we each decided to make our faith something we actively chose to pursue and adhere to. After some soul-searching, Ali decided that Islam was a religion that he wanted to dedicate his life to. And for me, that religion was Christianity and that relationship was Christ. Our conversation continued to unfold, and Ali stated, "Grace, I think my religion is not so different from yours. There are some similarities." I found myself agreeing. And yet, as our conversation continued and the differences became apparent, I found my heart growing heavy. "Ali, tell my about your relationship with God. What if both devotion and being a good person aren't enough? Both you and I are broken people and we are sinful. What makes you right before God?" He replied that being a devout Muslim and being a good person had the potential of moving God to act in mercy and allow a person into heaven. But what if it's not enough? How do you know for certain that how you live is going to move God's heart and cause him to be merciful towards you? Ali responded by saying that there was no way of knowing.
I talked about my right standing before God made possible because of Christ dying for my sins. I pursue Christ because of what he has done for me; I pursue Him because despite my sin, I find complete acceptance before God through Christ. Our conversation ended on a mutual tone of respect and appreciation of one another. I appreciate that Ali stepped out of his comfort zone to come to church with me. I appreciate my conversation with him and I appreciate that he was willing to share and listen.
I am intrigued by Ali and want to continue to invest in my friendship with him. I believe that friendships are gifts from God and I don't think it's a coincidence that I met Ali. As he mentioned during our conversation with a smile on his face, "nothing is by chance. I'm sitting here before you because God ordained it."
The next morning, I texted him from Sarah's room asking if he was awake. My phone lit up with his response - he was awake. We ended up going to church and later that afternoon I had the most transparent and open conversation with Ali. Let me rewind - Ali is a Muslim who at one point in his life looked into other religions. I think we all want our faith to reflect an individual choice and not just something that blends into the background of our culture and family tradition. At least that's what both he and I agreed upon. We were both born into our respective religions, but at one point, we each decided to make our faith something we actively chose to pursue and adhere to. After some soul-searching, Ali decided that Islam was a religion that he wanted to dedicate his life to. And for me, that religion was Christianity and that relationship was Christ. Our conversation continued to unfold, and Ali stated, "Grace, I think my religion is not so different from yours. There are some similarities." I found myself agreeing. And yet, as our conversation continued and the differences became apparent, I found my heart growing heavy. "Ali, tell my about your relationship with God. What if both devotion and being a good person aren't enough? Both you and I are broken people and we are sinful. What makes you right before God?" He replied that being a devout Muslim and being a good person had the potential of moving God to act in mercy and allow a person into heaven. But what if it's not enough? How do you know for certain that how you live is going to move God's heart and cause him to be merciful towards you? Ali responded by saying that there was no way of knowing.
I talked about my right standing before God made possible because of Christ dying for my sins. I pursue Christ because of what he has done for me; I pursue Him because despite my sin, I find complete acceptance before God through Christ. Our conversation ended on a mutual tone of respect and appreciation of one another. I appreciate that Ali stepped out of his comfort zone to come to church with me. I appreciate my conversation with him and I appreciate that he was willing to share and listen.
I am intrigued by Ali and want to continue to invest in my friendship with him. I believe that friendships are gifts from God and I don't think it's a coincidence that I met Ali. As he mentioned during our conversation with a smile on his face, "nothing is by chance. I'm sitting here before you because God ordained it."
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