Thankful List

-Last Wednesday, I flew out to Salt Lake City after my pinning ceremony and surprised my mama for her birthday. Ok, I low-key have never seen her so surprised. When my sis and I arrived at the house, my mom had just woken up (it was late because my flight had been delayed) and she looked so happy and shocked. She kept clapping and was like, "Grace? Grace? Grace!!" Haha.

-My time with my sis and mom in Utah was awesome. We drove down to Southern Utah and took my mom to Hell's Backbone Grill and hiked the Lower Calf Creek Trail in Escalante-Grand Staircase. We stayed at the Bouldercreek Ranch and had good food and coffee throughout.

-This past Sunday, Tiff and I hosted a dinner party and had Lisa, Dave, and Kayla over. Tiff made chicken provencal, her amazing anchovy olive oil based salad dressing; Kayla made a fruit cobbler and a freshly blitzed lime mint seltzer drink that she and Tiff drank while they were in India; I made my homemade ricotta cheese. The dinner was amazing - I won't ever forget what became the highlight of the dinner: truffle salt. It was great sprinkled over the main dish, over the ricotta cheese/honey/crusty bread combo, over the salad.

-I hung out with Tiff again yesterday and showed her how to make the ricotta cheese - we made another batch which she took home. And then the evening got better because she taught me how to longboard! And it was great! Like I kinda want to get back on it and try to do s-curves. Which says a lot because I usually shy away from things that required coordination.

-I am officially settled into the room upstairs. I love my room so much and have loved decorating it. After two years of not having windows/natural light, it feels good to wake up to natural sunlight.

Thank you for all of these good gifts, Lord.

Worship

I realize these days that worship is not confined to a time or space, necessarily. I like to worship God when I'm by myself and when I'm with others. I like to worship the Lord when I'm at the gym, and when I'm driving somewhere. I like to worship him when I'm joyful and when I'm sad (and usually, worshipping the Lord gets me out of my funk). I like to worship him when I feel empty inside.

Someone once said that you don't use a watch as a hammer. A watch was created to tell time - not as an object to be used to pound something into a wall. If I was to use a watch as a hammer, its purpose would be completely moot. Plus, it would most likely shatter into a dozen pieces. But when a watch is used as an object to tell time - man, that's when both created object and creator are glorified. What I'm getting at is that as a human being, we were all created with one important function. We were created to worship God. And it's when we fall into alignment with that singular purpose that we naturally feel alive.

I can't.
But you can.

I can't, Lord.
But you can.

I can't. You can.
Lord, have mercy on me.

--

I think I have been struggling with depression this summer. And sometimes, I'm ok. But other times, I wake up with a weight on my chest and it's hard to do little things. I think I've been trying to evade the fact that my baseline is a constant low and I try to fill my time with noise. It's in this space that I come to the realization that it's not necessarily God's gifts or blessing or favor or even fulfilled promises that I desire. I need the cross. I need Him.

Today's Prayer

Thank you that I am not what I do

Thank you that I am not what I have 

Thank you that I am not my failures or achievements 

Thank you that I am not my past, present, or future 

Thank you that I am your daughter 

Thank you that you call me beloved 

Thank you that you sent Christ to die on the cross for me 

Thank you that I am yours 

I open my palms to be receive and to give 

I open my heart up to your presence 

I allow myself to enter into sacred spaces 

and anticipate having my day marked by divine interruptions