Thankful List

 Wow, what a weekend. Here goes another thankful list: 

-Hanging out with Kolton/Christina, Michael, Brielle on Friday 

-Whiskey highballs 

-A conversation took place with a friend and I felt so proud of myself. I not only advocated for my own heart but empowered myself to move on and not be stuck in confusion or ambiguity. For me, I received all the answers I needed and I'm thankful that I can initiate hard conversations and sit in hard spaces. 

-9-mile run on a lovely day 

-Voice memos with a group of women that I deeply, deeply love. 

-Baking an olive oil chocolate cake for dinner tonight (Julian and I have dinner plans with Greg and Lais and I believe Lais is making Brazilian food for us!)

-Coffee from Metric 

-Earlier this week, I reached out to Pradeep knowing it was his birthday this week. I offered to babysit Silas so that he and Laura could go out and celebrate. Last night was SO much fun - Sarah ended up tagging along and we grabbed takeout from a Thai restaurant. Pradeep and Laura gave us full unlimited access to their wine fridge and told us we could also make cocktails for ourselves. Sarah and I got to talking and as we were wrapping up dinner, we heard the doorbell ring and heard Google Home announce that people were at the front door. We looked at each other in surprise wondering who it could possibly be; basically, Sharon and Tina were at the front door and surprised us and wow, I got so excited ha ha. We cracked open a $50 bottle of wine and essentially had girls' night while Pradeep and Laura were at dinner. And then! Pradeep and Laura came back and we celebrated Pradeep's birthday and ate some cake and sat around talking until like midnight. I drove home with my heart so full - I need to babysit more. 

Anyways, that's my thankful list for this morning. What's next? Here are some upcoming events: 

-Michael Sugihara asked me to lead this upcoming Leadership Cohort meeting 

-I said yes to Lynn's ask regarding co-captaining our church's marathon team for this year (which meanssss that I have another rendezvous with the marathon this year)

-Upcoming San Francisco trip with Janet/Julian/Michael 

Looking forward to all that this upcoming season has in store. 

The Wondrous Expanse

 I am caught up

in the ebb and flow

highs and lows 

of life here on earth 

Caught up in the heartbreak 

and heartache of shimmering

glimmering moments that slip 

through outstretched fingers into the ether 

Fully aware that each moment 

is its own form of grace -

I traverse this wondrous expanse 

in deep communion with you 

Sabbath Thankful List

 -Having Em over for dinner and cooking a meal for her and Liz; spending the evening with them and Sherry and her cute little girl 

-A group of us went skiing yesterday and it was awesome seeing friends try new things 

-We stopped by and went to a cheese castle and I had a great time walking around the store wearing a cheese foam hat (Janet took a sneaky photo of me and low-key it's pretty funny) 

-Soondubu après ski! Love love love Korean food 

-Laughing with friends at dinnertime 

-Waking up early to spend time with the Lord in the quiet of the morning 

-Currently reading Eugene Peterson's biography, "A Burning in My Bones" and wow, here is a man who lived life deeply and richly in the love of Christ - I'm inspired by his life and my prayer is that the walls of my heart would continue to expand so that I would be able to experience God's love even more and be able to love the people around me to deeper capacity  

-Picking up Julian this morning and serving on the Connections team at church 

-Today's service; awkward moments post-service that resulted in a lot of laughter  

-Sunny days and the opportunity to run 

It's a great day to be alive, and I'm super thankful.

Catalyst

You are the catalyst that 

sets into motion holy disruptions - 

hearts quiver, never to remain the same 

You are the catalyst, the unchanging I AM -

impurities melt away and I am stripped 

of everything that I no longer care for 

What you started, I cannot stop 

this movement within my heart 

- Written for my sister, Jenny -

Cheerleader

 I think it wasn't random that the Lord gave me the word 'Affirmation' for this year. Initially, I thought that the word stemmed from turning aside from seeking affirmation on social media - I realize now that there's more to flesh out with this particular word in this particular season. The thing is, I grew in a lot of self-love and self-confidence last year as I was training for the Chicago Marathon. Most importantly, this self-love was a paradigm shift precisely because the lens through which I saw myself slowly began to change. I began to see myself through the Lord's eyes. Or rather, I began to believe that I was lovely, and worthy of His love and affections. 

I realize that the affirmation that I truly need isn't from the people around me; I need the truth of who I am as a beloved daughter from the Lord himself; indeed, this is the kind of affirmation my spirit desperately seeks on a day-to-day basis. When the voice of shame and self-condemnation is replaced with the voice of love, it changes you from the inside out. I guess you can say that the Lord is my cheerleader, encouraging me and helping me become the person he has created me to be. 

As we enter into February, I once again let go. I let go of control over my relationships and what they should look like; I let go of fear of what others think and the constant need to prove my worth; I let go of performance and the desire for approval. I let go of my imperfections. I let go and once again ask that the Holy Spirit would meet me, fill me, transform me, prepare me, empower me for Kingdom glory. 

Snow Day Thankful List

 -Slow mornings w the Lord

-Very thankful for Sarah, and for the opportunity to text her every morning fresh insight regarding the scripture readings of the day 

-Chat groups that make me laugh out loud 

-Team zoom meeting; Kierra told me that the groundhog that usually forecasts whether we are going to have an extended winter or not passed away yesterday and for some reason I could not stop laughing. Does this make me a horrible human being? I dunno but I still think it's funny.

-Shoveling and being able to talk to my neighbors 

-Finished my taxes (I love filing my taxes)

-Hot chocolate and a new candle (digging the ashwood & Palo Santo scented candle from Target)

-Cozy days