Someone that was visiting Dave and Geri this past weekend approached me at church after service today and asked to pray for me. As someone who loves to give and also receive prayer, I replied yes. She proceeded to tell me that the Holy Spirit led her to pray over me and tears started to well up as she prayed. She prayed that my public life would parallel my private life and that the ways I serve others would be propelled not by self-glory or desire for affirmation but would be solely catalyzed by a desire to glorify the Lord. She prayed that love for the Lord and for others would overflow and bless the people around me.
The prayer that was spoken over me hit a sensitive chord because I myself solely know the state of my heart: hard, selfish, prideful, desirous to speak 'Lord your will be done' but not act. My external facade of "good person" does not mirror the condition of my heart, and I am well aware of the contrast and discrepancy.
The point of this post isn't to berate myself; it is simply to acknowledge that I am need of a fresh wave of God's mercy and grace and a fresh prayer that begins with "Lord, help me. A sinner." As I turn 31 this week, I want to come before the Lord with humility and palms wide open, and a desire to continue to be changed from the inside out.
