This week I have been internally preparing for this weekend. A few months ago, I reached out to the Monastery of the Holy Cross, inquiring about doing a silent retreat and staying in their guest lodgings and observing and participating in the prayer life practiced by the Benedictine monks here in the city. I got a response and a Friar Edward got back to me saying that the guest house would be closed for the the first few months of the year for renovations. He informed me that the house would reopen in March - at the time, I randomly scanned my calendar and my eye fell on the weekend of March 20th.
Fast forward and here we are, on the first day of Spring and more than halfway through the Lenten season. I'll be making my way down to the monastery in an hour or so and wanted to jot down a few thoughts before beginning this internal journey of coming back home to the Lord. I don't think it's happenstance that my silent retreat ended up being scheduled for this weekend; indeed, even as I have observed the lives of my friends speeding by I myself have slowed down and remained in stasis. Far from complacency, this season of internally slowing down has compelled me to shut off certain distractions to create greater awareness of God and greater intimacy with him. This weekend will be the cherry on top of a season where I sense God taking me to deeper waters. In fact, what I'm saying yes to this weekend is an opportunity to go on an adventure with the Holy Spirit and to be open to whatever Spirit wants to do within me and whatever Spirit wants to say to me. I desire to return just a fraction altered and more healed than when I entered this weekend.
As Bonhoeffer puts it, "Only in aloneness do we learn to live rightly in community." Mirroring Richard Foster's reflections in 'Celebration of Discipline', my prayer is that the fruit of this time of solitude is increased sensitivity and compassion for others. And ultimately, a deeper fire for the Lord.
