-couldn't stop crying in chapel today (it's ok if my chapel buddies think i'm slightly off my rocker).
just when i think i understand a little bit more of what Jesus did on the cross, the Holy Spirit pounds me with greater understanding & i am left shaken. as i sat there, i understood a little bit of what Jesus must have felt when He was separated from the Father. Jesus died on the cross so that we could once again have a restored relationship with God. My relationship with God is restored, but what about my relationship with my dad? i called him last night, & the old feelings of abandonment and rejection made deeper wounds in my heart. no, i won't be going to los angeles this summer & at this point, i don't know when we'll talk again. i wish i understood my dad better. Jesus, I forgive him. Let your will be done in my relationship with my dad. Let your will be done this summer.

-there's a chance that I might be going to India to intern for EHA - Emmanuel Hospital Association. i would be shadowing a physician and at the same time be exposed to church planting and evangelism. i emailed one of the doctors in the association (on the fly) & he replied back a lot sooner than i expected, a couple of hours later actually. i'm in the middle of praying about it right now, but i feel like God keeps putting it on my heart. i don't really want to go to India - it's waaaaaay too hot for me, as well as spiritually intense, but i think there's a reason why it's been on my heart. more on this later.