Beckoning

beck·on

/ˈbekən/

verb

gerund or present participle: beckoning

1. make a gesture with the hand, arm, or head to encourage someone to come nearer or follow.

   
   

   Discipleship. It's something that is unruly and unwilling to conform to my habits, my lifestyle. It's something I can't simply nitpick and try to incorporate cautiously into my life. This morning I sat on the floor, disappointed and frustrated at myself. Sometimes, I really really suck. There's no other way to put it. And then because he is gracious and merciful, he spoke: "Hey, Grace, it's all right. But you do know that this needs to change, right?" I felt like I needed to open the Bible to Luke 14, and sure enough, a section of that chapter reads on the cost of discipleship.

   
   

   Luke 14:25-28 says, "A large crowd was following Jesus. He turned around and said to them, "If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison - your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters - yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple. But don't begin until you count the cost." 

   
   

   The Lord never ceases to beckon us to come closer to him and follow him - He wants to show us more of his glory. The question is, do we want to experience and see that glory and are we willing to make the necessary sacrifices? I cannot possibly knowingly commit sin and expect to grow closer to God and grow deeper in my relationship with Him. But this relationship is something I cannot live without, and I know that his call to come and follow Him must override my own sinful nature. The Lord is alway the one that first initiates - moving closer to him, however, requires effort on my part and the act of taking up my own cross. 

   
   

   I guess I'm at a point where I need the cross to rock my world. There are things that need to radically change in my life and this is the point where I make a stand and say that not only will I repent of my sins, but I will turn away from them and turn towards Christ (with His help, of course). The road to discipleship is the course that I must take - there are no side-roads or backroads. I feel perhaps that four paragraphs is easier said than done - God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Help me to walk this path, knowing that you are more wonderful and more beautiful than anything in this world.