aristotle, you rock my world

i entered my social ethics class and when the female professor entered, she immediately caught my undivided attention. she wears the same black dress and black heels to each class and i believe this is in order to detract attention away from her visual appearance - even though she just might be the classiest female professor i've ever had. more than just aesthetics, this individual has good things to say and never has a philosophy class been more engaging. our class is currently going over Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics and even though I probably understand only around 60-75% of it, it has been extremely refreshing.

Aristotle distinguishes between descriptive laws and normative laws; the first set of laws can be something as simple as gravity making a ball drop to the ground - it is something that simply happens and something that just is, the latter set of laws are laws that say "I ought to [fill in the blank]". For instance, I ought to be more patient, I ought to help someone in need.

Now, Aristotle says that habits are tools that takes normative laws, those laws that say "I ought to do something" and turn them into descriptive laws for us that become an essential and integrated part of us. It's not good enough to simply say that you are a "just" or "good" person - these states of being should be descriptive laws for us that produce natural responses from us in the face of injustice, in the face of evil. For instance, I cannot call myself a disciple of Christ when the marks of the cross are not on my palms. Being a follower of Christ has to be an essential extension of my entire being - it ultimately involves my entire being: my heart, my soul, my spirit, my physicality and spirituality, my intellect. Following Christ should be a descriptive law, not a normative one. Not I ought to follow Christ, but I do follow Christ and following him has beautifully and wonderfully turned me inside out.

Perhaps dying to myself means allowing Christ to smash normative laws and turn them into descriptive laws. He is the catalyst and I surrender myself and yield my heart to Him.

So God, I pray that I would habitually turn to prayer and your Word. I pray that following you would involve my entire being and that you would take me into greater depths of intimacy. I pray that there would be no turning back.

i don't know how to process my time here so far. i feel like i am being scorched and i feel like i've been hitting a glass ceiling. i feel limited in myself, in my relationships, in my relationship with God. i don't know how to hang on to truth and my convictions - i am weak. with all my heart, i desire truth and a clear distinction between what is goodand what is bad. somehow, i am lost in the muddle that is the grey area. but my heart and my spirit cries out to the Lord and i find myself repeating to myself that I don't want to disappoint him. God, i am incapable of handling these new experiences. so, what does it mean to be thrown into a context that is today's seoul and still hang on to a pure spirit? my heart cries because what is beautiful is lost in small exceptions and worldly pleasures. i startled myself awake early this morning because i was crying in my sleep. God, i feel like i'm in a fog. i feel naiive and not ready to see what this generation is really like. i've seen glimpses during the few weeks i've been here and it has winded me and knocked the breath out of me. annoint me with your holy spirit and i pray that i would bear the marks of the cross.

I take my dignity and break it at your feet

For I have come to receive all You have for me.

This is my third week in Seoul, and I am currently navigating new waters. Quite honestly, I'm struggling with the pressures of this culture and i'm most definitely not at Wheaton. How do I stand firmly as a Christian in the midst of a culture that is saturated with self-gratification? For the first time, I am in a context where clubbing is a nightly ritual and where consuming alcohol is as natural as eating. How do I stand firmly when I myself want lose myself in the waves of worldly pleasures? Boundaries become hazy, and all of a sudden, I forget that I am supposed to be different. Right now, I don't know how to hold my relationships and still maintain my boundaries. Don't get me wrong, I haven't gone off the deep end but these are all new experiences that I am currently wrestling through. I feel that God is standing by, watching and testing me. And so far, I have given in to the pressures placed upon me.

So. This is a wake-up call and as this semester begins, I remind myself that like Daniel, I have to both live in the culture and be distinct from it. I know there is more that God wants to give me, and that He wants to meet me and take me into deeper intimacy. He wants to show me more, but that can only happen if I obey him and turn to him. God, I'm so weak. God, I am so so weak. I trust that you alone satisfy. Help me to settle for you and not for anything less. I have come to see. I have come to learn and grow. I have come to receive more of You.