Loving presently

How often are our acts of love contingent upon past experiences and future expectations? I am no foreigner to adjusting my output of love; indeed, there are many factors that come into play: Do i get along with this person? Do i even like this person or find his/her presence enjoyable? What has this person done for me in the past and how can i benefit from this person in the present? What will i receive in the future from my present act of love? And so on...

I run on the fuel of adoration from fellow peers, friends, coworkers, mentors. But lately, I find myself wanting to be more Christlike and have been attempting to strip away the conditions that I have attached to love. I find myself in uncomfortable spaces and have been challenging myself to love without strings attached, without thought of the past or the future, and it feels like i'm free falling. It makes me feel vulnerable; indeed, wasn't Jesus vulnerable when he allowed himself to be crucified on the cross? Ah, that ultimate act of sacrificial love. He did not think of the future, and whether we would reciprocate His love. Indeed, there are many times when we turn our back on our Lord and Savior. He chose to love us in the present, ultimately making Himself vulnerable and subject to rejection.

Perhaps loving presently requires the scale to be tipped towards one end - we choose to let the scale fall towards the other. Love does not always have to be carefully calculated such that the scale is in equilibrium. Loving like Christ means that as we receive the endless, limitless love of God, we are in a position to love others to the extent that we are capable of.

Loving presently - it is a beautiful Christocentric action that I hope to grow in in my own pilgrimage and walk with God.