Thankful List

-Hanging out with Derek, Christine, Sharon last night and breaking down our enneagram personality types
-Baptism Sunday
-Fellowshipping with people after service over lunch
-Ruthie wanted to talk to me after service and I walked away from the conversation feeling so encouraged and excited to see how the Lord is going to grow me in the body of Christ. I feel so thankful that the Lord put it on her heart to reach out to me. Oftentimes, I see the potential within myself to serve others but often feel hindered at my own ineptness or my own brokenness and tendency to isolate myself. Ruthie mentioned that she sees leadership potential in me and wanted to talk to me about specific passions (like missions) and how those can be equipped to serve the church community. Wow - thank you Lord. I submit to how you want to use me; I submit because I desire to grow and I desire to be better equipped to serve and live for your Kingdom.
-Running into Kevin at Colectivo Coffee; studying with Michael and 2.0.


I've stopped following my dreams and I've started to follow Jesus, and my dreams have followed.

Conversations with Jambi

Jambi came to visit this past weekend and I had a few significant conversations with her yesterday. In the morning, I came upstairs and was doing my morning devotional at the kitchen table and she came out of her room to join me at the table. Somehow, we started talking about heaven and how in heaven, unceasing revelation of the glory of God will evoke unceasing worship. I ended up sharing a very personal and powerful encounter that I experienced a few years ago in Arizona when I was visiting my mentor in Phoenix. We were at a church retreat and we were worshiping and the guest speaker pointed me out in the audience and said, "You are going to experience the glory of God in a new way in this moment. The fire of God is going to fall upon you." And I did. In that moment, my hands and head felt like they were on fire. I fell to the ground, and started crying and experienced an intimate glimpse of God's love. Just imagine love that is untainted by sin, brokenness, and selfishness. The world offers love that fails to deliver because it will never match up to what only God can deliver. I felt His pure and holy love washing over my heart and all I could do in response was lay prostrate on the floor and cry and cry. 

I have experienced God's love in my life, but that experience at the retreat was one where the Holy Spirit touched me and revealed the glory of God to me in a deeper way. I shared my story with Jambi, and our conversation came back to the reality of what heaven will be like - a state of constant worship. In my head, my experience of God's glory was only a minuscule glimpse and taste of heaven; indeed, I'm thankful that I can even experience God's love here on earth. So, that being said, my prayer is that God would continue to open my eyes and heart and that I would wake up each morning with wonder and amazement over the love of God. I pray for deeper revelation, and deeper worship. 

___________________________

Later that afternoon, I came back home and we met again at the table. I started to share a little bit of my history with Jambi and for some reason, started opening up about my family and how my dad walked out on my family when I was a year old and how I grew up with a pretty dark childhood. After talking for a bit, Jambi pointed out that like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego - figures in the book of Daniel who were thrown into the fiery furnace and came out unsinged and unharmed by the flames - God has similarly preserved me and kept me from harm. Jambi turned to me and said, "Grace, you are healed from your past. It's like there isn't even a bandage covering up a wound. You are healed." 

I am healed. I am known and seen and beloved by a God who is gracious, merciful & abundant in His love.

2019: Confidence

What with all the holiday travels and celebrations (Sam & Kevin are engaged! Alison reached 87% of her support today!), I haven't had time to process through this last year and think in-depth about 2019.

Let's start with a quick recap of 2018: 

-I read a copious amount of books and tried my hand at making key lime pie, pavlova, & panna cotta. I definitely recommend making Alison Roman's key lime pie. The cup of freshly squeezed lime juice is worth all the hand cramps and more.

-Visited Cali in Philly, road-tripped to Antelope Canyon, spent Thanksgiving with Alison's family in Wisconsin & ran the turkey trot in the most frigid of weather conditions, had a mini family reunion in San Francisco and got to hang out with Eunice and her husband Toby. 

-Attended three conferences: The Gospel and Our Cities Conference, CCDA, GMHC.

-Went to 4 weddings (one in North Dakota, one in Wisconsin, two in Illinois).

-Got free residential tickets to Riot Fest and saw Beck. 

-Visited a missionary family in Medellin, Colombia for 10 days.

-Grew more in love with my community and God. Attended most of the weekly Tuesday prayer meetings at Chicago Tabernacle. 

Blessings: 

-Alison and Grace moving in last year.

-The ways in which God opened doors and allowed me to go to Colombia and then reaffirmed the calling on my life at GMHC.

-The ways in which God protected my relationship with my mom and sister, even during tension-filled moments. 

Moving into 2019: 

I am inspired by Kevin's approach towards the new year: choose a theme word and somehow incorporate it in different ways throughout the year. I believe his word for 2019 is discipline and that each month, he will try to practice a different form of discipline. One word immediately popped into my head for this year: confidence.

Confidence in the Lord.
Confidence in my identity as a beloved child of God.
Allowing that confidence to manifest itself in different ways, whether it be consistent tithing, pursuing friends and family with Christlike love, trusting in the Lord and acting not out of fear but trust. 

LEZ GO.