Conversations with Jambi

Jambi came to visit this past weekend and I had a few significant conversations with her yesterday. In the morning, I came upstairs and was doing my morning devotional at the kitchen table and she came out of her room to join me at the table. Somehow, we started talking about heaven and how in heaven, unceasing revelation of the glory of God will evoke unceasing worship. I ended up sharing a very personal and powerful encounter that I experienced a few years ago in Arizona when I was visiting my mentor in Phoenix. We were at a church retreat and we were worshiping and the guest speaker pointed me out in the audience and said, "You are going to experience the glory of God in a new way in this moment. The fire of God is going to fall upon you." And I did. In that moment, my hands and head felt like they were on fire. I fell to the ground, and started crying and experienced an intimate glimpse of God's love. Just imagine love that is untainted by sin, brokenness, and selfishness. The world offers love that fails to deliver because it will never match up to what only God can deliver. I felt His pure and holy love washing over my heart and all I could do in response was lay prostrate on the floor and cry and cry. 

I have experienced God's love in my life, but that experience at the retreat was one where the Holy Spirit touched me and revealed the glory of God to me in a deeper way. I shared my story with Jambi, and our conversation came back to the reality of what heaven will be like - a state of constant worship. In my head, my experience of God's glory was only a minuscule glimpse and taste of heaven; indeed, I'm thankful that I can even experience God's love here on earth. So, that being said, my prayer is that God would continue to open my eyes and heart and that I would wake up each morning with wonder and amazement over the love of God. I pray for deeper revelation, and deeper worship. 

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Later that afternoon, I came back home and we met again at the table. I started to share a little bit of my history with Jambi and for some reason, started opening up about my family and how my dad walked out on my family when I was a year old and how I grew up with a pretty dark childhood. After talking for a bit, Jambi pointed out that like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego - figures in the book of Daniel who were thrown into the fiery furnace and came out unsinged and unharmed by the flames - God has similarly preserved me and kept me from harm. Jambi turned to me and said, "Grace, you are healed from your past. It's like there isn't even a bandage covering up a wound. You are healed." 

I am healed. I am known and seen and beloved by a God who is gracious, merciful & abundant in His love.