It's my joy to lose my life
And find it in Jesus Christ

You Move (part 2)

On a whim (and perhaps out of desperation), I submitted a prayer request on Chicago Tabernacle's website. Anyone (regardless of whether you live in Chicago, live in a different state or even in a different country) can submit a prayer request on the website. The church prints them out and every Tuesday night, we pray over the requests at the prayer meeting.

In this request, I asked for prayer regarding my upcoming graduation and mentioned that I am passionate about serving underserved communities and local and global missions. I asked specifically for prayer regarding God-ordained opportunities and that I would continue to step out boldly and confidently in faith. 

Today, I received two emails from Chicago Tabernacle - one was a response email that I think everyone gets and then I got the following email a few hours later:

God, I don't know all that you are going to do in this upcoming season, but I say yes. Yes to your plans, yes to your dreams, yes to your will.

You Move

I was at the house, talking to my sister and waiting for the plumber to come and I saw that I had a missed call from my mentor, Teretha. She had left a vm and in it, she was super excited and even though I couldn't catch her entire message, I gleaned that "she had something very important to tell me." We were able to connect an hour later, and in true Teretha fashion, she cut to the chase and said, "Gracie, God sees your restless heart. He knows what you have been going through and he knows that you are unsatisfied. Big changes are coming - he is going to use you but first, he needs to heal you."

Teretha proceeded to talk about how God had placed me on her heart for the past two weeks and that he placed on her heart this idea of a night of healing where basically she and I and a few other women will go on a mini-retreat somewhere and allow the Holy Spirit to work. As she was sharing this, I got goosebumps. She said that I would go in one way and come out a completely changed person.

God, thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you that you know me and that you see my heart. The cry of my heart is that you would heal me so that you can use me for your Kingdom. Don't get me wrong, God uses broken people but I want to experience a radical, life-transforming paradigm shift where I am no longer held captive by my past. God. I want this. And I thank you in advance that this is a prayer that you have already granted and that you are presently answering.

Confession:

I've been living in a lot of fear these past few weeks. And that fear has manifested itself internally and externally and has wound itself around my heart and into a knot. God, I feel so restless. Here I am, at the end of another season. About to graduate, about to begin immersion, unsatisfied, confused, unable to fake it, not wanting to fake it. There is a deep cavern within me, and I realize that only your presence can meet me in this space. Help me to surrender my relationships, my desire to be seen and wanted, the fear that I have wrapped myself in. Open the eyes of my heart, that I would see who you are and who I am in relation to you. Moment-by-moment grace is what my heart needs.

Thankful List

-Getting to talk to Jon during clinical and the opportunity to talk about my faith
-Hanging out with Mae and Rebecca at Spinning J
-Going over to Leah's house. I truly love this lady so much, and am so thankful that whenever I get to hang out with her, our conversation is mutually edifying and SO refreshing. I made some popcorn and we watched 'If Beale Street Could Talk'. I've never been a fan of love stories, but WOW. This movie made such an impression on me and I can't stop thinking about it.