i went to see my chem professor, & as i started to ask her some questions about the homework, she stopped me and said, "Grace, I was going through and grading the tests from last week, and you actually got the highest test score in the class." God, it's all you, and i praise you. somehow, you're pulling me through biology and chemistry. you are so good to me.

i pray that instead of just a passion for a single subject, that you would grow in me a passion for your heart. these classes are just tools that will equip me to further your kingdom. Father, i want to understand more of your heart. this summer, you showed me in equal amounts my brokenness and your grace and glory. you showed me your heart for people who don't know you. yes, this made a mark on my heart, and i'm pretty sure the trajectory of my goals and dreams are headed in directions that i can't fathom just yet. i don't know where you plan on taking me, but i am willing, Father. i can't know your heart and not do anything in response to it. 

i repent for not loving you enough. i'm sorry because i turn my back on your love and give in to my fears and anxieties instead. these days, my brokenness overwhelms me. when did it become so crippling? turn me to what you did on the cross. i'm reminded that you healed me at the cross, not just this past summer in amsterdam. lord, i'm so sorry that i'm a crummy lover. i don't know how to love you, i don't know how to love others, i don't know how to love myself. i pray that you would show me more and more of your love.

there's nothing left to stand on but your love.