Update

Thankful List: Conversations with my sister, receiving beautiful care packages from my sister (artisan chocolates!), praying and finally catching up with Esther, early morning prayers, having Hannah back home, conversations that bring clarity (this morning's conversation with Anna and Dr. Dowell), prayer group, patients who sing over me in the exam room.

Esther:
-Pray for her remaining months at the family owned optometry clinic, including her conversations and interactions with her coworkers Janet and Samantha.
-Pray that she would continue to have a fire for the Lord and that she too would linger and ask questions in her interactions with different people.
-Pray for her upcoming medical missions trip to Papua New Guinea in July.
-Pray for continue healing and joy and passion for the Gospel.

"And Jesus, I don't think I have told you this today but I want to tell you right now that I love you. I love you God, I love you Christ, I love you Holy Spirit. You are welcome here."

I realized in my conversation with Anna this morning that I grow attached to objects and people and that when these things are taken away from me, fear creeps in and I feel unstable and insecure. I realize that these feelings are tried to the abandonment I experienced when my dad left my family. Anna pointed out that she sees me wrestling with myself and that I need to kick out the part of me that dwells on the negative. Life is too short to constantly struggle with the part of me that feels alone. What she pointed out is all true - I want to grow in my understanding of the Gospel and the truth that Christ promises never to leave me and is constantly by my side. I want to be cognizant of what scripture says about Christ and know through and through that my deepest desires and prayers have been answered in the form of Christ. I want joy to come solely from the Lord. I want my identity, security, and peace to derive from Christ. Christ be my everything. Christ be the breath in my lungs and the movement of my limbs. Christ be my past, my present, and my future.

I am so thankful for the conversation I had with Anna: her perceptiveness and her willingness to share these things with me. I felt like the Lord was using this conversation to speak with me, and I am so thankful that he has been ministering to me through my conversations with my sister, with Esther, with Anna. Thank you for these gifts, Lord. Thank you for this day.