The Peace You Bring

Growing up, the holidays were never really a thing in my family. I actually remember crying a lot whenever Christmas rolled around. As a kid, Christmas was always this stark juxtaposition of what I saw on TV/what was advertised, what was portrayed in my friends' families and what was my lived out reality. This juxtaposition of what I longed for - a tight-knit family - and what existed around me would always result in a volcanic eruption of emotions on this particular day. There were times when in my more shallow moments, I uttered in my heart screw you, baby Jesus. All I want for Christmas is a dad who never left and a sister who was around. 

While I've mellowed out a bit since my teenage years, my recognition of Christmas for what it truly is continues to become evermore refined. Simply put, Christmas this year looks and feels different. I'm stuck in Chicago, away from my mom and sister, spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day by myself. Does the lack of the presence of family members, copious amounts of presents, health, etc. etc. (the list could go on indefinitely), negate Christmas? No, it doesn't.  Does the lack of all these things bring to hyper-focus the essence of Christmas? Wow, it's with resounding enthusiasm that I say yes. The gift that God knew I needed would burst onto the scene of humanity, a gift whose presence would never leave my side. A person that continues to walk closely with me day in and day out, not just on those past Christmases where I felt the brokenness in myself and in my family keenly. Jesus, you are everything I ever needed and everything I always wanted. It is simply you, nothing more and nothing less.