Just when life couldn't get any more exciting, I woke up last Monday short of breath. My symptoms lasted the entire day and the following as well; still, my PCR test and rapid tests kept coming back negative and I went back to work on Thursday and Friday. Things took a turn, however, when I woke up Saturday morning with a notification from the hospital saying that the second PCR test that I took the previous day came out positive. I stayed home the entire weekend, read a few books, watched many, many episodes of Ted Lasso. Tuned into church via the YouTube livestream, baked some cookies and saw other friends who happened to also have COVID. Thankfully, my positive PCR qualified me for medical furlough so I've spent this past M/T/W at home putzing around being bored and contemplative. I spent some time poring over 'The Atlas of the Heart' by Brene Brown and realized that perhaps this time of living with COVID has been an unlikely godsend; indeed, it has been a time to just be and recover from the previous weeks of feeling extremely overwhelmed by life's curveballs. Additionally, I somehow got connected with a therapist (it's interesting that sometimes things can move so organically and so fast and feel so easy), and actually was able to see her this afternoon. We instantaneously clicked, and I'm excited to restart a season of therapy and continue to work on myself.
In all of this, I realize that life can easily take away, and just as easily give. And that in all of it - in all of the ebbs and flows - God alone is the consistent, constant rock. God alone is worthy of the weeping and he alone is worthy of the moments of exultation. So, God, if you're out there watching me type these words... know that I'm out here, worshipping in the desert.
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