Two weeks ago, I had some girlfriends over and we were shooting the breeze and eventually found ourselves talking about dating and dating apps. It's been a year since I ended my last relationship and for the most part, this season of singleness has been absolutely lovely. I have relished time by myself, intentional time with other friends and investing in different relationships, serving at church, setting goals for myself like running the Paris Marathon and taking my mom on a mom-daughter trip. And then there are moments when I miss the intimacy of being in a romantic relationship and I guess this recent hangout/conversation with Janet and Tina stirred something in me internally because the next day, I found myself creating a Hinge account. Mind you, I haven't been on dating apps since 2022 and for the most part, the accounts that popped up on my screen were more or less mediocre. Objectively speaking, the number of gym pics and weird angle selfies that I came across were too many to count and most of the messages sent my way sat in my Hinge inbox collecting dust. Not sure what Christian-Agnostic means, but no thanks - I'm not about to step into those waters. A few days passed, and a guy messaged me and a brief glance at his Hinge profile made me pause - here was someone who actually presented themself more holistically and seemed to have a solid walk with the Lord; plus it helped that Janet knows him and could vouch for him in a pretty positive light.
I won't go into all the details but we went on a few dates and I quickly realized that I felt pretty platonic about the relationship and communicated as such to him IRL. His response was so sweet and we agreed to remain friends. In all of this, I realize that the lane I was in prior to starting a Hinge account was actually a good one. I was and continue to thrive as a single woman; in fact, having a Hinge account has been for me more of a distraction taking focus away from the good in my life and has been more of an emotional drain that I don't really care to feed. If anything, it highlights the fact that the focus of this season should be leaning into this season of singleness, cherishing it, and ultimately, trusting that the Lord is in control and things will happen when they happen. I don't need to exhaust myself by "putting myself out there" (not a bad thing per se, just not for me in this season). Yesterday at church, i was in the middle of worshipping and the Lord spoke to me, saying "Grace, be still." And so I choose to be still, and move back into the lane of singleness - all with a sigh of relief and with a posture of surrender to the Lord and his time and sovereignty.
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