for me, salt lake city is cultivating ground. whenever i come home, i see all the ways i haven't changed. every year i come home, it's eye-opening and i realize just how easily i succumb to my old self. i need God to continue to change me, and i understand that that takes time. one thing that struck me as i was talking to my mom yesterday was my selfish expectations of the people around me. i want to receive more than i give, and the Lord has been convicting me of my tendency to hoard the abundant grace that he has poured out on me. I want this year to be a year where i can brush aside my own expectations and be the one to first pour out into others - because the Lord has blessed me so much with his grace. God, i'm sorry that i'm a poor steward of relationships especially. you've blessed me with people who have supported and challenged me and i've failed to do the same. i'm a recipient of your profound grace, but have failed to be a carrier of that same grace. change my heart so that i can reflect you in my words and actions towards others.