I was driving home from work the other day, and had a really random conversation with the Lord. It went something like this:
"Lord, you know what? I don't really experience the deep loneliness I used to feel anymore."
As soon as I spoke those words (well, not out loud because that's just weird), a startling realization struck me. Growing up and for most of my life, I would experience a day-to-day dizzying anxiety rooted in this lie that I was abandoned and alone. There were physiological symptoms and I would turn inward and isolate, all the while carrying shame and the belief that I was unworthy.
That moment in the car made me ponder my thoughts. Lord, I don't experience the same loneliness I used to.
And the Lord spoke. Grace, you aren't the same person you used to be. You have a greater reassurance of my presence.
It is so freeing - this reassurance that I am loved. That there is nowhere I could run or hide that could possibly separate me from the love of God.
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